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Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Bad

I've been told that I've not done my part as a daughter, a woman, and as a human being. Say whatever you wanna say about me or my social behavior. I'm not asking you to accept me for who I am because I know some people just can't digest me. All I'm asking is a little bit of knowledge about me before passing judgements on me. I've been lied to and betrayed by you and yet you throw a finger at me accusing me of things I've never done before. You claim to be wiser and I used to look up to you. You were my role model. Sadly, you are no longer respected by me. I want to but I cannot bring myself to such levels of stupidity. You made me look like a fool in front of everyone. I had your back, did you ever have mine? Tell me, what sort of respect do you want from me? You have sucked me dry, and still you demand my respect? I was wrong about you. You are a con artist. You didn't even take my side. And it cuts me so deep to see me being thrown into that sort of hell-hole you call 'security'.I may be younger than you but thanks to you, I've learned how it feels to be in the presence of an asshole. I have learned how it felt to be backstabbed. I have learned how to survive. I am slowly realizing I don't actually need you in my life anymore. You are just an accessory for me now. Nothing more and nothing less. You were never around during the most desperate times of my life, I don't find any reason why you should be part of it now. As of now, don't expect me to listen to a single word that comes out of your lying mouth because I just won't. Maybe I'll hear you, but I won't listen. If you think you know me (like you've claimed all this while), you should know how much I despise being compared to. I am a woman. I am no longer the child you think you knew. Thanks to you, I've learned from the very best, which is you. I try not to be you. Yet I am constantly reminded of how I am very much like you. I used to be very proud of who I am...but now I just don't know if I am still as proud as I used to be. One thing's for sure. I have to fight my own battles now and I know very well as to not expect you to come and save my day. I fight my own fights and I am not like the others (the ones that you speak proudly of). I am different. Too bad, you've already lost the best thing that could ever happen to you. The daughter who thought you were the next best thing to God. I hate you for abandoning me and twisting my words around to make me feel like a bad person. The one thing you don't know is, Good girls go to Heaven, Bad girls go everywhere.I know this much is true.

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