The Art of Annoying People in a Lift

After my many encounters with rude and annoying people in the lift (because I live in an apartment), it has inspired me to come up with a list of things to do to annoy these people back (Oh...revenge IS sweet). Feel free to add in a few lines yourself. You see, I have learnt the Malaysian way which is: If you can't beat them, join them.

1. When the lift door opens (make sure there are ppl around lah), push your way through the crowd so that you enter the lift first. Next, CLOSE the lift door even when people are still trying to get in.
2. While in the lift, fart loudly and give a sigh of relief. Take a deep breathe, smile and go "Mmmm..."
3. Talk loudly on your mobile (in the lift) and go "Hello?..Hello?..HELLO?" repeatedly..until the lift door opens and exit.
4. Keep starring at the person in the lift until he/she feels uncomfortable. And when he/she finally looks at you in annoyance, you roll your eyes and say "So sensitive".
5. When the lift door closes, start panicking, squeezing yourself in the back of the lift and say "We are going to die....we are going to die!!"
6. Slowly inch yourself closer to the person next to you. When he/she realizes this and moves away, slowly inch yourself towards them again. Do this until he/she exits the lift.
7. Pee in your pants and say loudly "My...is it me? Or is it raining in here?"
8. While in the lift, scream as if you're on a roller-coaster ride. Just before you exit, say "Phew.. that was one helluva ride!"
9. Bring a box of popcorn with you. While in the lift throw them in the air and say "It's snowing!!"
10. When you enter the lift, "accidentally" step on everyone's feet and say sorry. And as you exit, do the same.
11. As you enter the lift, ask "Which floor do I go to Willy Wonka's chocolate factory?"
12. When you catch someone looking at you, overreact by saying "Stop starring at my boobies and stop stalking me or else I'll call the police!"
13. If you see someone carrying a lot of things, "accidentally" nudge into him/her. When he/she bends over to pick them up, quickly move behind the person and dry-hump him/her.
14. When someone is exiting a lift. Push their head from behind so they exit faster.
15. "What are you guys doing in MY lift??"
16. Turn to your "imaginary friend" and giggle "Hehehee...they can't see you.."
17. Ask the stranger next to you "So...my place or yours?"
18. Grab your crotch, wince, smack yourself on the forehead, and say "Aiyah...forgot to wear my underwear AGAIN!"
19. Carry a water-gun. Whenever you catch anyone talking, you squirt them and say "Silence!".
20. Sit on the lift floor, look up someone's skirt and say "Hah! I know what colour you're wearing! hahaha!"